20^th Aug 2014

Focus! C’mon Paul, you can do this…………

Today, I sat around the corner in an empty bank of desks, so I could concentrate. Perhaps it looked anti social, but I wanted to get things done. Or, at least be relaxed about it. The final, result. I’m relaxed about it. One out of two isn’t bad. And I am meeting the parents tonight for a meal. On these occasions it’s best to give them nothing to worry about.

I’m focused now. I have a few minutes to write a few words about this ‘F’ word that sprung me into action. After I looked for the last of the hotel bourbon creams, and made a luxury instant hot chocolate. Naturally, I’d already scoffed the biscuits and only had half an excuse not to start typing today. But that word sprung in to my head.

Right now, I’m planning to be in the hotel bar for half six for cheeky pint before a 7 o’clock taxi in to town. There’s no need for the 18:30 deadline, but I’ve placed it in my day anyway. Now, I’ve given myself time pressure. Why have I done that? I’ll have nothing to do for the following 30 minutes.

I think this is my mental gym. I don’t need to do these things, but I will become better for it. Then I need to find a use for this new skill. I’m typing faster,and get my thoughts down quicker. Unlike my old days of reading, re-reading, sighing, stopping, and giving up. Or I might become someone who just gets things done. This too will be a big change for me.

However, there is an other outcome. I might become too focused. The blinkers may be attached and all I see is the final destination. I’ll get there no matter what the cost, or who gets in my way. No. Not me really, unless I’m doing it with a smile, and become a happy assassin in the work place. So convincing, that I don’t even know. Again, no! Perhaps all want to do is write occasionally, and have enough in the bank to keep me in biscuits, even if I’m not buying them.

Can I deal with the pressure of writing something everyday, that no-one will ever read? Then comes the inevitable writers block. If I focus, will that make it better or worse? So many questions.

Really, I think my lack for focus will help. After all, my only target is to write something every day. Subject matter isn’t a problem. All I do it just pick the first word that comes into my head. Duplication, isn’t a problem, as one subject may be totally different on any other day – and hopefully better written.

Focus doesn’t really sound like such a good thing now. We may respect focused people for chasing their ambitions, but really we all know it’s a negative and not a positive trait. I almost pity these people. When there reason for being self indulgent has gone they are left with a void. There only option is for them to be focused on other people. But not in a good way. More of a telling people what to do way.

I hope they were nice to people on the way up.

In summary, I’ve decide to be someone that gets things done, and can smile about it. A smile costs nothing.

Must concentrate on that pint now!