29^th Aug 2014

Where I live there is a communal door to my apartment block. This is where the smokers step in to the fresh air to feed their habit. They don’t always take that one step outside, as I have noticed that ash has been flicked out of the windows above me and landed on my window sill outside.

I’m mentioning smoking, because my new downstairs neighbour is heavily pregnant, and smoking. This is something that I’ve never seen before, or if I have, nothing so disturbing. And all I can do is say hello. Nothing I could do will help and I have to accept this. I could openly disapprove, or tut and shake my head. I could talk to her, and use amazing powers of persuasion, but somehow I feel that whatever happens will happen. So, I let it happen.

In my car park I saw a black couple having and argument. She was leaving with the baby and he wasn’t happy. The next thing I see is him holding her with his left hand, and punching her in the ribs with his right fist. It was brief, and over before I felt the need to intervene. This left me shaken, and on reflection, all I could have done was sound my car horn, so other people could see.

In both cases, what happened was going to happen. They were on their own path in life. Trying to help in both cases, could have ended with undesirable results and made things worse. Nevertheless, these things bother me. There are two reasons: 1. Bad things happen; 2. Knowing that I’m powerless to help.

There are times when we think we are helping and it makes us feel better such as giving money to a charity appeal. Great, I’ve given five pounds to starving people, I can go back to my meal now. How much money will actually find its way to the recipients may differ, it it reaches them at all. And there may be a slight price to pay, where they have to accept the Bible in return for assistance.

Then there are the cases where a disaster is not fashionable or just not worth the newspaper column inches. But, by now I’ve realised I can’t help. We need the people who can help, to help. The problem here is that they may be helping themselves, or preserving a balance of power somewhere in the world. And we are complicit in keeping things this way. We are also either blinded by information, not given enough, or just busy concentrating on our modern life problems to notice.

Then there is me. Helpless, to help my self most of the time!