09 Jan 2017

It’s the gaps in life that can say a lot. In this case, a gap in blogs. The last thing I remember was deciding to sort my financial life out. There was a chat about letters of authority for consolidating my pension funds. And there was a chat about mortgages which will cost me £300 and raise more questions than I imagined. Real world conversations look as if they triggered me to retreat from life. On the plus side, I cycled and even went for a jog over the weekend. I may even start swimming again.

I have experienced career gaps – if I consider my work life to have been a career. The biggest gap was before any real work started at all. I’m over this, but will never recover from the effects. Every time I have a work gap, or work but no project distant feelings and worry return. If only I was one of the super motivated go-getters. But I’m not. I decide to muddle through and try to keep body and spirit alive.

There have been gaps when I have not called my family, sometimes for weeks and months on end.

Most of all, there seems to be a big gap between my ears. There’s a perfectly good brain in there that’s going through its life and running mine, doing what life has trained it to do. But every now and then it needs a little re-training, and a little reminder of what it is best at. My big problem is re-training my head. It looks as if I have to play the hand I’ve been dealt. And that is to not neglect my fitness and general health.

That’s it. I’m stuck. Feeling well, but stuck again!

My quads are a little sore and I can’t jog for a day or two. How do I fill my day of paid nothing? Stuck! If I try to learn something, it will be exactly the wrong thing.

This definitely for this post. My habits must change. I’ll keep the blog habit.