Australian cricket is in disgrace. Two veterans of the side, and one relative newcomer are being pushed in front of the press begging forgiveness for their crimes. I heard crying from one of them, promising that he could be a leading light from now on. He is so, so sorry.

In cricket, there’s an elusive property a bowler can produce called reverse swing. I don’t know what this is. Ever since Sky won the contract to broadcast the sport, I’ve barely seen any of it. And this must have been at least twelve years ago.

The cricket ball has been tampered with for years and years now. Personally, I think this is a great thing. No-one except the purist wants to see boring games where the ball doesn’t move and create uncertainty for the batters. I’m too young to remember uncovered wickets which would create more uncertain bounces, and these were probably changed on reasons of safety. But none the less, boring games are bad for television.

Cricket balls are stupid anyway. The last time I saw them, they were a cork ball covered by two pieces of red leather, and then sewn together forming something called the seam. In a Test Match, there is an option to replace the ball for a new one after 90 overs which is a minimum of 540 deliveries – which never happens, add a few on for no-balls and extras. The ball is designed to lose it’s initial quality to to make for a more exciting game. Sometimes, this aids the bowler, and sometimes the batter. And then there’s the pitch. A good pitch is designed to be good on the first few days, and degrade in order to give the bowlers an edge on the last couple of days.

Some pitches are “dropped in” these days. This means that a sporting ground may be used for another purpose for most of the year, and then a week or two before, a pitch can be put in place and used for cricket. There’s a problem with this. These pitches are boring and predictable. I’m not going to fact check this, and I don’t know the state of the pitch where the Aussie was caught (in front of 30 cameras!). But if ball tampering has become a habit to give bowlers an edge, it’s probably that the power has swung in the way of batters, and boring high scores.

The big mystery to me is this. If you want reverse swing, why not turn the ball round the other way instead of being caught rubbing it with sandpaper?