Where do I start with this? Happy Good Friday! Here’s a starter. It’s the most important of the Christian festivals. Now let’s eat some chocolate eggs.

I couldn’t bring myself to buy an egg for myself. In fact, I’d go so far to say that no one ever has done this. For a start, it’s like buying a massive Aero bar with one big bubble. It’s just not sensible. And these eggs are brought by the Easter Bunny. The eggs represent fertility, and we give these symbols of fertility to young children. I accept that other people don’t give these things as much thought as I do, and meanings change over time. But none the less, that’s what the eggs represent.

My thoughts walking through the local Waitrose when I was thinking about my chocolate choices was “why don’t Cadburys make a chocolate crucifix?” Why not? Hot cross buns are fine. And there’s the Christian types that become outraged when they hear (falsely) that the word “Easter” has been removed from some packaging. What have chocolate eggs got to do with the betrayal, torture, resurrection, and subsequent ascension in to heaven? It seems that there’s equal coverage of the declining quality of Creme Eggs.

Easter is confusing as it’s the one Christian “thing” for better use of a use of a word that moves depending on the moon cycle. It’s the first Sunday, after the spring equinox, after the first full moon of spring. Just like the other festivals, the church integrated pagan traditions in to their calendar. These holy days (holidays) give us time off work, so it’s not that bad. Ok, the days were create to have a day off and go to church, which I expect was compulsory, but hey, who goes to church these days? Perhaps people who are scared of Hell go to church.

There’s good news on the Hell front. I’ve heard it reported that Pope Francis has stated that Hell does not exist. The souls of people who don’t believe just disappear in to nothingness. And the souls of people who “walk with God” can go to Heaven. If this is the case, where does Satan live? And what’s the whole point of the dying to forgive our sins?

I’m breaking one of my unwritten rules, which I’m going to write down now. Six question marks is too many.

Anyway, some snow is forecast on Easter Monday 2nd April, and there’s no sign of the Swallows arriving yet. But Easter has arrived early this year.