Something strange has happened. One jog and two meditation sessions taking 20 minutes each has changed something. I started reading, and switched the radio off. It was just me an a book on my Kindle. There was the occasional noise from my fridge freeze, and the comforting background noise of my tinnitus, and that’s it. I can still feel a warm glow of energy in my. The feeling isn’t everywhere and the low level pain in my neck is a blocker, but I am feeling energised and excited. I have the feeling of doing something I want to do, and enjoying it. Perhaps all of my recent days off and looking after myself have paid off. It could be that I’m moving on somewhere. My day in the office is telling me something else. There was nothing to do and some of the big bosses were in today, which is very unusual. And if you’re in your actual company office and not on a customer site this looks bad. So, I put my headphones on and tried to make something that didn’t work, work, which I failed at!

Almost every since I moved in to my place just over ten years ago, I was fighting to banish any TV out of my life. I can watch it on laptop or Kodi if I want too, but anything other than BBC is annoying for me because of adverts I don’t want to see, and by that I mean adverts. In general, I think I succeeded, but now I come to think about it maybe it wasn’t the success I though it was. The reason I say that is because all of this time I’ve replaced TV with background radio noise.

I sleep with the radio on. It doesn’t keep me awake, and sometimes I learn really interesting stuff. Now is the time to let it go, and just sleep. By doing this I’m winning, and winning gives a winning feeling, so I’m I’m right this will be a happy feedback look. What would I think of me if I could have seen these habits? I’d tell myself to stop and concentrate, and stop listening to the radio and just sleep.

All of this is making me a little angry. Not very, but just a little. I have the feeling of being 10 foot tall when I used to be a good runner, and I haven’t ran a step today.

Time for press-ups and a cup of tea.

Quick update: 25×4 press-ups. That’s enough for today.