Early this morning we had the Blood Moon, and the same day is Blue Monday. This has been identified as the most miserable day of the year. The thing is, that it was just made up by a travel company in order to sell holidays. I thought that this was common knowledge now in the same way that it’s okay to use less or fewer, or to say Union Jack and Union Flag. Finally, it’s perfectly fine to say literally in place of figuratively. But it seems to be accepted to say decimate instead of reduce by 10% – Now, it’s not like me to fact check, but one quick Google search suggests that it is fine to use decimate another way. Oh well!

Anyway, Blue Monday was made up shit, just like 10,000 steps a a day, and drinking two litres of water a day was. I know this, because last year I heard about it on the radio. Not only that, trained professionals were explaining that this was a very bad idea and this is not helping people with serious mental health problems at this stage of the month. And I thought that this day had passed without mention because of the knowledge gained from last year, but I was wrong!

My cafe is not an office for business meetings. These guys should get a room! Perhaps I’m feeling a bit judgemental, but the three blokes on the table next to me seem to be involved in what I’ll call Del Boy + negotiations. It almost feels as if two of them are being sold a pyramid scheme, and the trick of these deals is to convince the suckers that they are in first, and then flatter them in thinking they are the right type of smart people to succeed. But deep down I’m sure they know something isn’t quite right!

Where was I? Oh yeah – Red Moons only happen once in a blue moon! And repeating nonsense about Blue Monday is at best not doing anyone any good at all. Maybe, just maybe, a red moon and a blue Monday might provide a purple patch for me. After all, it was written in the stars – if I would have gotten out of bed and it wasn’t cloudy.

So, that’s decided. Good times are ahead! Now all I have to do is make the prophesy work it’s magic. Who am I to argue with signs like that. I’d be a fool to ignore them.