Today is July 22nd 2019 which means that it’s been a full six months since I drank alcohol. Cans of 0.5% beer don’t count, right? Of course they don’t. Imagine offering one to a normal drinker and see the look on their face!

This hasn’t been easy, and at the same time it has been easy. The first few weeks are always the worst. I know this because I’ve been there before, and almost made it. But I never really had a reason to finally stop. This time my reason is to find out what the worst can be, which is the wrong way to look at it. Things can only be better, even if only a little. This is an exploration in to the unknown, and once those around you have cottoned on to the idea that you’re actually going to stick to it, then you can succeed.

There’s a feeling somewhere inside me that is telling me that I haven’t had a drink. Perhaps, one day it will go away. It’s not hurting me and feels like a constant hunger. I’ve decided that this is my sub-conscious trying to tell me something, but I haven’t processed the message yet. So I’ve re-framed the question and this is not why am I not drinking? to why was I drinking?. That’s not to say when I get the why, I’ll start again. There’s no point in doing that, even if all I do is avoid a few hangovers – and that is a great reason. Good quality sleep would be a better reason, and there are many reasons for that. I just can’t use it as an excuse for not doing the things I need to be doing, and at the same time knowing that I’m hurting myself. Moreover, there are so many options these days if you want something else to drink. But staying off the booze will take careful attention.

I’m probably drinking more coffee than I should be. I’m definitely drinking more coffee than I should be, but I’ve always drank more coffee than I should. I don’t think that it is causing me any obvious problems, but now that I’ve pointed it out I’ll have to keep one or two eyes on the risk and give myself a nudge it I need a reminder.

The truth is that I didn’t really enjoy it, and the thought of sipping a pint make me feel a little weird. There’s a reaction in me saying I’m better than this and I should let me out instead of using something to do it for me.

That’s more than enough for this one!