Christopher Hitchens once wrote about alcoholism saying that you probably have a problem when you wrap rules around your drinking. I’ve been there and created my own rules. Most recently, my rule was that I would only drink if I was on holiday. That holiday lasted for about two months.

When I had my first pint after ten months part of me knew I’d have to quit again. In doing so, in my mind and gut I had the feeling that I might have to start from square one again. Last time was tough. Not physically tough, but there was a constant internal longing in my stomach wanting something. That feeling isn’t asking for beer, but my head is telling me that that’s all it can be. And giving in is so easy. But deep down, I know there’s no real benefit from having that drink. No magic happens. What will happen is falling asleep on the sofa, and waking up with regrets.

I stopped on 20th August 2019 – with one 33cl of cider that was waiting to be drunk. I’ll let myself of with one slip up here and there. Having that drink hasn’t made me feel that I haven’t stopped again. Why am I doing this? Drinking is so much easier.

That’s all I want to say. Tomorrow is a big day and I need to get on with the rest of my life.