Things could be better. Much better. For me, for everyone.

I’ll start by saying that I’m having a drink, of milk stout, in a brewery a short walk from where I live. This place has been here for a year and only now have I decided to take a short walk and see what the tap room is like. And I have to say that I’m very happy here. I’ve had a half of a porter and I’m enjoying a milk stout now. I’ve given in to the temptation.

After my ten month booze break, I’d like to think that I have a new relationship with alcohol. For example, it is very rare for me to have a pint of anything and I will have non-alcohol beer when I’m out. Hangovers are a thing of the past and I’m feeling like I’m in good shape. I have no need to pour beer or wine down my kneck and peer pressure isn’t something I care about. More importantly, drinking halves reduces my overall consumption and increases the beers I can sample. Constant vigilance is required, but I think I’m at the point where I can find the balance.

As I’ve said before, getting out of the house\flat is good for everyone. I’m not speaking to anyone, but I am doing this. I feel more aware, more positive, and feel like I can’t really explain, but let me try. The closest I can get is when I used to be running and running well. This didn’t happen very often, but when I did, I was on a high. Running was easy and enjoyable ad I gelt ten foot tall. That’s the feeling I have now. At the same time, although my senses are hightened and I’m tuned in to everything around me, I’m almost a mere observer. I’m not part of this.

Going out on your own can be very difficult. There are many social reasons for this. What doesn’t make things easy is the way places are designed. Tables look very empty with one person sitting on them. And if your unused chairs are taken away, it just feels really awkard. Where I am now is spacious and I’ve found my place to sit. This is a good space. But good spaces are hard to find, because leaving the house\flat costs money, because there aren’t any free places to go and just be, especially when the dark knights draw in. But there’s no way of getting around the idea that we are social animals. The problem is that being social has a cost attached to it and you need to have money in the game to join in.

At the start ot the year, I joined the Green Party. This is something I thought about for a few years, but it wasn’t possible for a few reasons. When the excuses were out of the way, I joined. This has given me the reason to get involved with things that matter to me and can make lives better. But the main reasons to begin with were that it would get me out and meet people. It’s also forced me to think about how I think about things. Difference is fine and should be embraced. We should be more caring about other people too. This is not an option now that I’m a paid up Green.

This week, I attended a meeting about mental health and debt. It wasn’t very well attended and this makes me one of the hard core Greens now. One of the attendees has needed serious interventions over the past 40 years and wanted to deliver leaflets, so I offered to help. I felt how he felt, so I offered to join him on Sunday. From a mental health point of view I am way out of my depth, but I do know that little things can help a lot. I cannot help, that’s not why Im doing this. I’m doing this because I know he would have felt awful if he went back home when all he was asking for was a little foot on the ladder.

Getting out the house and meeting people is a good thing.