Better days can’t be far away.

Things are still not going well for me. I’m still stuck and can’t find a way out of my situation. So it’s time to take a deep breath and remember it’s Friday and I can give myself the afternoon off, which means I can make a push this morning and see if I can get some replies to some job vaccancies. Then I can get out on my bike again and work on my fitness. Knowing that the clocks go forward this weekend is a big help with the extra hour in the evening.

This isn’t about my progress. My sparrowhawk came back again yesterday and I saw two wood pigeons scatter, when a goldfinch was snatched.

I think the sparrowhawk is young and inexperienced, judging by the size and lack of kills. In a couple of weeks, there’ll be feathers all over the place. But for the moment, I’m happy to see that the small bird population is healthy enough to support a bird of prey. And if this bird can improve, then so can I – unless I’m one of nature’s goldfinches!

Seeing bird action is one of the things that keeps me going. Cycling is one of the things that keeps me going. Stuborness is one of the things that’s keeps me going. But I’m not very good at keeping going. I’m getting older, becoming more obsolete, and lack the skills to find work. This has been a gradual decline for at least 40 of my 50 years, and I still don’t know how to dig myself out.

On the plus side, it’s Friday and almost the weekend – no that that means anything thsese days, with Lockdown 3.0 and my lack of paid work – and I have to hang on to something. Even better, the weekend after is Easter, which means that Good Friday and Easter Monday makes this a long weekend! This means I’ll have to do a very long bike ride. I want to, but my energy levels dip after 20 miles, and I want to do 100 miles. So I’ll go out again this afternoon and earn myself a treat from Greggs.

Now is the time to shake things up, do something different, and do the things I’m good at. I’m not good at much, but at least I can look after my health.

This isn’t making me feel much better, but at least I have some small plans and things to look forward to.