There’s no avoiding it.

I need to do one of my massive clean-ups. Of course, I can avoid it. That much would be obvious if you saw my mess. The only problem is that I can’t avoid doing it. But I can avoid it. I can’t though.

Something is going on in my head. There’s a reason for almost everything turning out the way it does. Lives become complicated, and the wetware between our ears is a mystery to everyone, especially the people who study these things. But all I know now is that I have a window to sort myself out. There are traps along the way. These traps feel comforting and familiar. Then there’s the fear. This one is more difficult to deal with. Memories come back. Past failures appear. After that, there’s everything that doesn’t make it all the way to my consciousness.

When you’re aware of what’s going on, at least you can address it. But when you keep repeating actions over and over that make you you, there’s a big problem there. These are the things that make you, you. One of the strange things I’ve noticed here is the repeated use of “there’s” and “these” as I go on. Now I’ve noticed, I’ll have to go back and check to see if anything has changed. What’s missing is my use of “perhaps”. At least, I have a new project. That’s to do a word frequency project on my word counts.

You won’t have noticed, but I’ve put a blocker in the way of my tidy up.

What I need to do is re-frame this as a reward, after I tidy up.

I’m off to the bike shop tomorrow. My motives aren’t completely clear, but I think I need to get rid of a few bikes. The freed up space is important. Sentiment is holding me back. The tip is an option, but I don’t want it to be. So, a day in the bike shop it is! This needs to happen. I need to move on. The funds are there if I need them and look after what I have. And with a bit of luck, I’ll stop writing posts about needing to tidy up my flat. But don’t hold your breath!

Right then. I have things to do. As usual, the out of context bird photo adds to the post.