It’s October already. And not just October, but the 10th of October.

I think it’s fair to say that I might have given up. And the problems is working out because I’ve given up, or because I’ve been feeling awful. At the moment, I feel fine, but I know I haven’t been vert well. If I tried to run even a couple of steps there’s nothing there, just nothing from my power unit. Today, on the other hand I feel that I could and I haven’t been struggling to do simple tasks such as walk around and do some cleaning. This is a big problem because there’s no help out there.

Today is nartional mental health day or something. I don’t really care. Every day should be mental health day, although I do have a problem with “mental health”. Today, I have a problem with Matthew Hancock Tweeting about how important it is and directing us to charities. This is nonsense I’m not happy with. For a start, the Government should acknowledge there role in mental health problems they have played a part in and have exacerbated since the whole Covid-19 debacle started. They had every chance to make people valued and do their best to look after them. But people don’t matter. This is a Government of survival of the fittest.

We all have bad days. Some people have bad days, or even decades. One bad day can mess up a whole life. But there is one thing that insulates people, and that is money. Failing that, there’s the ability to request debt and look wealthy. That’s me screwed then!

There’s something vert wrong in the country right now. Everything just feels wrong. Perhaps this is because I’m very close to the edge. Perhaps, it’s because it’s so obvious to see the people who are still protected from oblivion and those who aren’t. Then there’ll be people like me who are fronting it out and look fine. Of course, that might only be me. But it’s only me who can see me at the moment.

I think I can get out of this, providing the wind is blowing in the right direction and I have a fair bit of luck. But really, I don’t know. I’ve lost interest in what happens next. All I feel is that things have become worse than anyone would have imagined. And some people are in denial. Personally, I think we are in a mess.