I have too much!

Someone once said that we have the choice between excellence in life, or excellence in work. This is something I had know much earlier in life, but to be honest I’m not sure it would have made any difference to me on my own. You can’t just leave things and hope they will work out, unless you are born in to money, or others have laid the path for you to follow. Life gets in the way and everything becomes a distraction or a blocker. But if you don’t keep and eye on life and the distractions, everything can come crashing down around your ears. Finding the “zone” isn’t easy. Then when you do find it, you need to remember to leave it before you fall in too deep and can’t get out again.

I’m very lucky to have little luxuries so that I can listen to high quality music. This is what I’m doing now as I tap way on my little Chromebook. If it weren’t for the lockdowns, I might have been sitting in cafes, being creative, and found a job by now. Who knows? All I know is that I may have found a zone. This is my little place in time and space where I can be me, and get on with the things that need doing. As pointless as doing this is, it needs doing. I’m giving this a test run. The music will distract my negative thoughts and it will be just me and the little keyboard. And as soon as the weather allows I will be doing this out of my flat. I need a change of scene as much as a change of mindset. A mental clear out is what I need and leave the bagage behind me.

Despite things not going well, all I needed to do was hang on until Spring. That’s not everything I needed, but it definitely is a big thing which is out of the way. Now it’s time to make peace with myself, which is not where I thought I was going to end up when I started this. But that’s what happens after a long gap. I’ve probably been processing this for weeks and my brain has only let me know about it now, or I could just be making this up to meet my word count. That’s the thing about the brain. Sometimes, it protects you from yourself. This can be a great thing, but not so great when your brain is a bit slow at processing. if only upgrades were available.