I have a lot to catch up with. Here’s an idea that came in to my head a couple of days ago. Best get a move on. These things don’t write themselves.

An imaginary performance review at work in a years time

Manager: “So how do you think your year’s gone”
Employee: “I risked my life to save others. Became very ill and went back to work”
Manager: “I can see you’re utilization’s a bit low”
Employee: “Yes. But you only let me book 8 hours a day, when I’ve been working 14 hours a day”
Manager: “Ok then. I’ll give you an “as expected””
Employee: “Huh?”
Manager:”I’ll be honest. I can only give “exceeds expectations to 10% of you. Sorry, hands tied”

I can’t remember how long the lockdown has been going. Was last Friday one week or two? It hardly seems to matter, because we are waiting for an extension decison at the end of three weeks, which will be extended. And it’s still Lent, which is a period of sacrifice and self reflection, but there’s not much talk about that in this christian county as the political Right refer to it.

Our dear leader Bozza is still in self isolation – or hiding as you could call it – with continuing mild symptoms. My best bet would be that he will be resurected on Easter Sunday and be back to work on the Monday, which incidentally will be a bank holiday – not that anyone will notice. But mark my word, there will be symbolism with him joining the rest of the world again. Praise be to Boris! He must be working very hard during his sick leave.

This leads me on to the people who are working hard and keeping the country running. Not the people who are supposed to running the county. The government have performed something called a reverse ferret, which is almost like a u-turn in every way, except the name. And not long ago, low paid workers were refered to as low skilled. Now they are key workers. Calling these normally undervalued people key workers both fatters them and sends the message that they cannot go on strike. We are proud of them and the Government finds them useful, for now. But come annual review time, I will direct you to the short manager\employee conversation at the start of this entry.

In a year’s time my wish is that Boris and his Minsters achieve the standard at least of as expected in their reviews, but I fear that things may go the way that many of the experts expected. If it gets to the point where this whole CV-19 thing goes really badly, we can expect a cover-up with Knighthoods and gongs for all of those in the top jobs.#

The Queen, ERII will be addressing the Nation tomorrow at 2200hrs. Perhaps she has news about a vaccine. Or perhaps, she has nothing useful to say.