Hello again! I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said that now.

I have many things to sort out and things I may want to do, and making a list of these things is what I need to do. That’s conventional wisdom from what I understand.

Here is a list of things that need to do:

1. Stop drinking – A recuring theme. My last drink was 23rd August
2. Tidy my flat – A recuring theme
3. Fix the plumbing in my flat – New!
4. Spend less and try to save – See 1. Stop drinking
5. Eat better
6. Exercise more – There’s room for improvement, but I do do more than most
7. Have hope in my future – There’s a possible future if I want one
8. Stay in employment – Tough times
9. Not end up dead in a ditch before retirement age

Here’s a list of things I want to do:

1. Run a marathon – Probably a half marathon, but give myself a chance
2. Read books again
3. Be able to sit down in a chair at home and listen to vinyl records
4. Live somewhere I can afford

I’m sure there’s much more to add, and I will as I go on, but it’s enough for now.

Stop drinking

As I mentioned earlier, this is is a recuring trend. It needs to happen more than every now. Since Laura died, there has been a lot of pub time. It’s great at the time. That’s what drinking is. The problem is that it affects everything even in the absence of hangovers. This probably means that there’s not enough gaps in the daily drinking to get them.

Everything I was doing revolved around pubs. There was the DJ work I was doing for the local community radio station. It was rewarding (not financially) and I did discover loads of new music. Ultimately, it was a distraction which masked my problems, and it was booze related. All of this spread me way too thin. Another day I will talk about it and how I announced my resignation on air.

The temptation to drink will always be there, and if I have learned anything – which I rarely do – is that one drink is too many, even if it is just one drink this time. The next time it’s two or three, and we’re back on again. Eat, drink, sleep repeat.

On its own, I expect little to change, but without doing this, things will only change for the worse.

I could write more, but it’s probably repeating what I’ve written before.

Tidy my flat

Today is Friday and I am back to work on Thursday. Without the drink, this is possible. It’s a proper mess, but not a complete disaster – by my standards, anyway. But it is bad.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Fix my plumbing

In summary, it’s fucked. Proper fucked! I have cold water from my kitchen tap and that’s all. This is why the tidy-up has become urgent. My living room concrete floor may need to to come up. If the building insurance available from the housing association doesn’t pay, then I don’t know what I’ll do. Now it the time to summon the energy and sort it out before that days become colder.

Spend less and try to save

This weekend, I am going to fill my freezer with loads of frozen veg and Quorn. Work lunch will be soup. See also: Eat better. I’ve got this.

Exercise more

I ride my bike around town and run two 5Ks a week. The trick to the running is staying injury free. See not drinking and eating better.

Future planning

This one is tough. I have no idea what’s happening with work, but it feels bad and I need to make a change. If not drinking, exercising, eating better and sorting out my finances doesn’t sort things, I don’t know what to do. I’ll look at cashing in once of my smaller pension pots and see if this is an option.

The future feels like a possible way to go, but it’s sill only 55-45 right now.

I’ll think about things I want to do in my next daily blog.