It takes time to turn the tanker around…………

After promising to write every day, here I am several days later. That’s better than a couple of years though.

Where am I now? Probably where I was before, which is hard, because this is the last of my days off. Have I wasted my time, or was taking time to be away from work and try to clear my head a bad idea? Time will tell, but experience tells me that I’m a repeating experience that little old me can’t break free from. For example, I am in the pub at lunchtime. The reason is that it’s a place with a roof. I’m not drinking, but I am here.

My predicted drinking relapse happened on Bank Holiday Monday. I gave in and needed a reminder about giving in. The pub location is because there’s nowhere to go these days. Being out of my flat is a good idea, but it’s not a perfect place to be. The flip side is that is if I was at home I wouldn’t be doing this, whatever this is.

The relapse

Let’s talk about this and how it happened. All of the problem was about places to go and community. Not all of it. Going to your Local isn’t always the best idea when you’re quitting booze. And booze is what it is. A beer may be from a local brewery with a great back story, or be made with spring water, but in the end, it’s booze, even if it’s a delicious stout.

I knew I couldn’t just have one pint and ended up having 4-5 pints. This is a normal amount, or was a normal amount. However, the next morning agreed and I was feeling very lucky that I still had a couple days off.

My problems aren’t going away just because I’ve had punctuated week and a bit off the drink. My hope has to be that weeks and months will help, but it’s no guarantee.

Lesson learned – AGAIN!

That’s all I want to say on this subject. I’m still freaking out about the future and need to find a new place to be. The only problem is that when you leave the place, you leave the people.